i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
