I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize