i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
