i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
