I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
