Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
