Tell her she can't have a vagina
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
