The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
