my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk is not a location!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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