If i come over, it means nothing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize