he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
