I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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