she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
