He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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