I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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