Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My pussy is not your playground.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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