The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wear drunk well.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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