fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my poor anus
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
