YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
