This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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