is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Someone came in the potted fern
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
