Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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