thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
