Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
