After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
