Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
