in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
