I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
