The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
