return my video game
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
