Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
