i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
