if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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