o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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