im drinking this country out of the recession.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize