brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
