Well apparently he's into motor boating.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
