I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
