you guys were way drunker than both of me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
