Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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