; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
