At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
