Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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