ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
