Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
