At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
