...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
