beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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