i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
