what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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