I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
