only if we run a train.
done.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
this will be a night to untag.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
