so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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