I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
