Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
