I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
