I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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