Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
