Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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