We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
True strength comes from lack of pants
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
