think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
