non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
