found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
