They should really pass out barf bags in church
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
